Be Apart of the Stand- Help Find A Cure for Breast Cancer

Children of mothers who have breast cancer are likely to experience long-term psychological affects. These affects include fear, insecurity, anger, sadness, isolation, and curiosity. Perhaps the strongest of these emotions is fear. Children fear that their parent is going to die or that the cancer is contagious and they will get it. Perhaps this is because the only exposure they have had with cancer is that people who have had cancer have died. Therefore cancer means death to them. “Because our society frequently hides the diagnosis of cancer, often a child's or teens only exposure to cancer is people who have died.” (Brazy 2) They also may have fear because they can sense that their parents are afraid. They may fear separation, especially when their mother is hospitalized. They may also fear that cancer is contagious. It is extremely important as a parent to assure them that cancer is not contagious. Also, children will have the fear that they caused the cancer. “Magical thinking is normal in children. Magical thinking is the idea that they can make their thoughts and wishes come true. Last week they may have been mad at you and thought, “I'm mad at Mommy; I want to hurt her.” Now you have cancer and you hurt, more than they ever thought possible. They fear they caused the cancer and the impact of their wishes is now beyond their control. They feel very guilty and afraid.” Brazy 3)Anger is also one of the many feelings children will experience. Their reaction to feeling angry may be to act out, such as failing in school or become demanding and disobey their parents, especially the mother. Children may isolate themselves from everyone as a way of coping. "Children are acutely aware that the mother is sick and know when secrets are being kept from them. They are more frightened by what they imagine than the truth." (From Psychological Impact on the Family, page 1). Sadness is also an overwhelming feeling that they will encounter. Some children may cry with their mother because she is crying. Others may pretend to ignore it and not express their sadness. Parents are very careful about telling their children that they have the disease. “I didn't want to lie. Part of my job is to teach (my children) the importance of honesty, but it is also my job to protect them, and by telling them I had cancer, I would be admitting that the world is a scary and dangerous place that's largely out of our control.” (Nash 40) Parents feel that by telling their children, they are subjecting them to depression and pain. This is not true! You are better off telling them the truth then keeping the truth from them! Adolescent children have more problems dealing with the reality than younger kids. They are more likely to become clinically depressed and become suicidal if not cared for properly. "Adolescent children are trying to break away and become individuals and severe illness forces them back to the family unit." (From Psychological Impact on the Family, page 1). Adolescent daughters especially suffer from this. They sometimes feel like they are expected to take over the mother role in the family. Some teenage girls don't want to accept the fact that they are becoming a woman. They are too afraid of contracting the disease themselves. There is also a lingering fear that they will get breast cancer themselves, as you can see in this exert from My Mother's Breast (page 68) about a girl who's mother was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. I didn't want boobs, plain and simple. They were for everybody else, but I didn't need them. I didn't want them, but I got them anyway, and they kept growing. They grew to be extremely big. I would deliberately buy bras that were too small, as a way of denying how big they were. You couldn't get me to dress like a female either. I was very much into pants and things that looked more masculine. A lot of big sweat shirts. I was hiding my body. I remember that I was only fourteen when I considered having surgery to get them made smaller or nonexistent.